Tuthmosis is a Columnist-at-Large at Return of Kings.
His work has been covered by major media outlets such as The Huffington Post, Cosmopolitan, Vice Magazine, The Daily Mail, and Yahoo Shine.
I needn’t tell you that online dating is jam packed with a host of nuisances and perils.
There’s the over-confident 6 whose ego has been artificially inflated by the fawning online attention of thirsty guys—to the degree that she delusionally carries on like a 9 whenever she cracks open her Mac Book.
There’s the girl with the manifesto-like profile, itemizing unreasonable demands like a hostage-taker in a movie bank robbery.
Then there are the brutally repetitive jokes, clichés, and “witty” remarks that women merely copycat from one another—and television. You should message her if you know the difference between to/too/two and there/they’re/their. She did a novelty race where they spray you with colored powder at the end. Talk to any man who has shown up to an online date with a cute girl, only to meet 30 pounds more of that girl than he expected, and you’ll know that it’s among the worst sinking feelings you can have on a first date. Girls today are masters at photographing themselves in the most flattering way possible.
The undiscerning male online-dater is simply no match for this training.
So, what the average man do to avoid being Secret Internet Fattied in today’s online-dating world?Learn to look for the tell-tale signs of the SIF: No matter how much feminists and fatties kick and scream otherwise, girls are hardwired to know that their body is their number-one asset in attracting a mate.All of those pale in comparison to the mother of all of online-dating dangers: the Notorious S. And, all you need to do is shadow a few of them for one night to understand how they acquired that skill: girls today spend a better part of their day taking pictures of themselves, and each other.Not only do they have thousands of pictures from which to cherry-pick the best ones, they have countless hours of practice in posing, emphasizing, and concealing.Moreover, girls receive constant input—from other girls as well as their desperate online male admirers—about when they look their best.A college-aged girl has an advanced knowledge of her physique—and photography—far beyond the average guy, even 10 years her elder.